You know what I've noticed? Things have not been very exciting lately. At all. I haven't been up to my normal mood. I'm usually a big partier, but no one else is, so it's bumming the scene out just a bit.
New Years: spent it in a van. With Meagan of course, but nothing happened. Not that I worship sex or anything. That didn't bother me. It's just... things didn't go according to plan. Wasn't drunk, wasn't high, wasn't anything. Not even happy.
Don't get me wrong, spending time with Meagan is what I love most about life. It's just.. usually something always goes bad or the mood dies. I don't know. I love her, of course I do. She just refuses to believe me. & I don't think I should have to change to be with anyone. I think they should just love m
e for the cold hearted person I am at times & a sarcastic bitch who doesn't give a fuck if anyone around me is like... being dramatic. ONCEAGAIN. But I'm willing to change for her & I want to. I just don't know how to. I'm supposed to be "showing" that I want her & I want to be with her. I don't know how though. I don't understand how saying "I love you" every 10 minutes isn't enough. Hell, it'd be enough for me. But not for her. I wish it were. I wish we could have a single night where everything goes right & there wouldn't be any drama or getting sick. But I know that day will never come. It never has. I really have given up on trying to love someone. I'm no good at it. I literally suck huge sweaty balls at Love. I don't think anyone will ever understand that & be okay with it.
But oh well, it's not like I'm gonna ever be with anyone without Meagan in the picture. So I'm sticking to her. I don't see her as a burden, I just know that I can't be with someone because I'll always be thinking about her. So there really is no point to anyone trying to get with me.
UGH FUCK MY LIFE.
New Years sucked. Bottom line.
2009 isn't starting off too well.
FUCK MY LIFE.
-LiveLoveTy
New Years: spent it in a van. With Meagan of course, but nothing happened. Not that I worship sex or anything. That didn't bother me. It's just... things didn't go according to plan. Wasn't drunk, wasn't high, wasn't anything. Not even happy.
Don't get me wrong, spending time with Meagan is what I love most about life. It's just.. usually something always goes bad or the mood dies. I don't know. I love her, of course I do. She just refuses to believe me. & I don't think I should have to change to be with anyone. I think they should just love m
e for the cold hearted person I am at times & a sarcastic bitch who doesn't give a fuck if anyone around me is like... being dramatic. ONCEAGAIN. But I'm willing to change for her & I want to. I just don't know how to. I'm supposed to be "showing" that I want her & I want to be with her. I don't know how though. I don't understand how saying "I love you" every 10 minutes isn't enough. Hell, it'd be enough for me. But not for her. I wish it were. I wish we could have a single night where everything goes right & there wouldn't be any drama or getting sick. But I know that day will never come. It never has. I really have given up on trying to love someone. I'm no good at it. I literally suck huge sweaty balls at Love. I don't think anyone will ever understand that & be okay with it.But oh well, it's not like I'm gonna ever be with anyone without Meagan in the picture. So I'm sticking to her. I don't see her as a burden, I just know that I can't be with someone because I'll always be thinking about her. So there really is no point to anyone trying to get with me.
UGH FUCK MY LIFE.
New Years sucked. Bottom line.
2009 isn't starting off too well.
FUCK MY LIFE.
-LiveLoveTy
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